put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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