And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
