i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You took a bar mat shot.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Randomize
