Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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