some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so let's talk penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
