Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
