Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
should my penis look like a turkey
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
