I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she peed on how many people?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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