He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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