i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
