I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
