East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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