There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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