He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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