I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
