I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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