Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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