I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
