Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
