Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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