we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
