I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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