so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
