So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
