you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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