Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
