ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
