I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
not ubering you a puppy
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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