You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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