So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
