dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
