Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
