we're blogging at a bar
Will you blow on my dice?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
