I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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