i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
