I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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