i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just google imaged poop.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
