Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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