My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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