Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
