2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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