She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My pussy is not your playground.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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