I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
