It's just like the Real World with babies
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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