Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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