im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
