if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
