She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
