i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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