Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was like eating out sand paper
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My ATM looks so different sober.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
