I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
