he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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