I got chris browned last night
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
